The Big Loss

I said, I could kill for you,I meant, I am living for you.I said, I want to spend my life with you,I meant, my life could not make sense without you.

I said you are beautiful,I meant, you are the only one I see.I said, you are like me to me,I meant, me being me is useless without you.

I said, I would love you till the end of the world,I meant, I want you to be tagging all along.I said, your smile makes my day bright,I meant, a day without your smile is no day at all.

I said, I would fight the world for your sake,I meant, you are my whole world.I said, I would give away anything for you,I meant, ther is nothing worth winning after loosing you.

I said, I want to kill you.I meant, my life's futility is now very clear.I said, you have ditched me,I meant you are the only one I trusted.

I said, consider me non existant,I meant, I better be dead than being painful to you.I said, I revoke your right to talk about me,I meant, I am taking myself back from the world.

Allow me to go, to leave and to disappear,To have learnt to love and to have lost you for ever.It is so damn bad that the death would have been better,Who knows how my heart broke anf how it now withers. 

Dream and Realization of the dream

One of the basic truth about me is that I love kids. I have always dreamt of having kids and raising them to become good human beings. I had always wanted to have a daughter, buy pretty clothes for her, tie her hair in a neat ponytail. I have always looked forward to my daughter becoming a sweet little charming geirl. I would have so liked the see her going around collecting praise for being plite and respectful and then growing up in a loving young lady.

Well, it has all changed recently. I look at the world as it is today and get scared rather than hopeful about having to raise my kids. I don't want to be responsible for bringing some body in this kind of a world. What is it? There are so many kids out there and so many parents. In fact, two parents per single child and still they are not able to make children good human beings. The world full of guilt and of crime and of treachery and of lies. A world so full of joyless creatures just carrying on their lives of no purpose and raising klids for thw sake of raising them. I don't like this world. How could I give it a young precious little gift, a part of myself? I don't know how could I convince myself of this? Would it not be like letting my young one down? Could I stake a life for the fulfillment of a dream that I have been harbroing?

Feeling blue and a Little Poetic

Someone stands there, blocking my way,
I know the person well but I look away.
It's been so long now but till this day,
It is just three words that I could not say.
I am sorry. I was mistaken.

Let's just forget it all, let's just wipe it off,
It's been a torture, it's been a tough job.
Why don't you just draw me close, hold me tight?
Why don't you embrace me and make me feel alright?

I feel so broke, I am almost all lost,
I want to win you back at any cost.
Would you ever feel the pain I am in?
Do you think I can ever win?

Make me win, I can't afford to loose,
There is no other path for me to choose.
All the paths I follow, leads me to you.
Do you still doubt how I feel for you?

What is a Sunday?

Yesterday one of my friend told me the secret of Sunday. According to him, it is a funfilled day with a scary evening. He said, " I would rather just live in mondays than in Sundays. Sunday mornings make me feel that I am on the top of the world. Sunday evenings bring me back to earth and I feel the pain really hard."

To have nothing to cherish, miss and loose is better than to have all the things with a fear of having to loose it all. It sounds Oh not so good but it actually impressed me. This is also a way of looking at things. The Sundays and Mondays make our life interesting. I am not sure how many of us are capable of thinking on these lines. Obviously all of us are afraid of the Monday to come on a Sunday evening.

I am still thinking about how to strike a balance between the Sundays and Mondays in my life and am just hoping that some one of you might be of some help.

I wish I had died.. Read through

A dream I had:

I dreamt that I am dead and I am in the sky, I looked down and saw the world from above,I realised that I have made a difference to this indifferent world.I felt that I have left something for the next generation, and that my children are proud of my life and my death,I saw that there is no fear and no shame because people have a clean consience,I am assured that there is no guilt in the world.
I get to know that people have learnt to forgive,They don't hold grudges any more, they don't regret their past mistakes,They say sorry for the harm they have caused others and they are forgiven.I can see that there is no bloodshed and no tears and no sufferings,Everybody gets whatever one deserve, I am loving the feeling when suddenly there is light and There comes the Father of all.
He smiles at me and says, " The world you see below you is my world. All of them are my children. They do not follow the Devil any more. They believe in me. I grant all their wish because they know what are they asking for. They only ask for what they deserve and no one asks for something which will harm another being. I am so happy."I just wish I had actually died so that this could be true. But it was just a dream and we have got a long way to go before we can make the Father feel this way.

this is what i learnt....

When we are hurt, we put the blame on someone or the other. As said in a joke that, “to err is human, to blame others is even more so.” We do shun from taking responsibility of our actions. If we, for once start taking responsibility we would soon realize that everything that we do and give is what we receive and endure. We are the only people who can affect our lives. It is just that we don’t acknowledge how powerful we are. I have full control of my life as long as I am conscious and the basic problem is that we have slipped in an unconscious zone where we allow ourselves to be dominated by someone else. There is no chaos in this world. All that is at unrest is inside us. The universe is obviously at perfect peace. We are given into believing everyone except the one who is always right i.e. our own heart. Heart knows everything from the origin of this world to the end of the universe it has seen it all and it knows everything. I pledge to listen to my heart. From today onwards, I will only listen to my heart n will do whatever it say. It is always right. U may tell me, “but my heart does not talk to me”. The truth is that it always told you what to do n what u should not do. But you ignored it for too long and now it has gone in a deep slumber. Let us make our lives better by living by your heart. Actually it is very important to listen to your heart to get more from your life. Don’t place your happiness and your peace in someone else’s hands. Learn to forgive because guilt and anger are nothing but the dead weight of your life. Forgive and forget to start enjoying your life. Akon says “you can put the blame on me”. Because 99% of the time it is our fault and the rest 1% is the fault of someone who is not as happy and as matured as you. When someone hurts you, be sure that he has been hurt. Life had been unfair to him and that is why he is being unfair to you. He doesn’t deserve your anger but your pity, your love and your forgiveness. You will always feel better when you let go of that dead weight and the resentment you had been harboring for so long.

hi! i m NEW

hi everyone.
i have no previous experince of blogging, i m new to this. i hope u will guide me to make better at blogging..
concern..